As recalled (unreliably) by all parties involved
Event: The Civic Literary Forum
Date: Unspecified, but frequently referred to as “that cursed spring”
Outcome: The Three Quills of Lindral banned from sharing a stage at any publicly funded event
The Civic Literary Forum was supposed to be a celebration of civil discourse, thoughtful debate, and the value of a well-placed semicolon. Instead, it became the setting for one of the most talked-about scandals in Lindral’s literary history.
Merevine Holt, Pellinette Vance, and Thistledown Quillweaver were each invited to speak on a panel titled “Truth and Taste: The Role of the Press in Preserving Society.” It was to be a landmark occasion. It was — just not for the reasons the organisers imagined.
Accounts differ wildly.
According to The Citadel Voice, Thistledown brought “an untamed bird” as part of an elaborate stunt, which Pellinette encouraged. The goose was reportedly released midway through the panel, causing chaos, injury, and the ruination of several hors d’oeuvres. Merevine, struck by a flailing wing, maintained her composure but later demanded Thistledown, Pellinette and any avian accomplices be barred from joint appearances “for the sake of decency.”
The Velvet Quill maintains the goose was part of a decorative floral display arranged by the venue’s caterers. Pellinette, they say, merely commented that it appeared more composed than Merevine, which was taken out of context. The goose, disturbed by a dropped cane, honked once, flapped mightily, and disappeared into the crowd, which also caused a commotion It is also noted that Pellinette, suspiciously, did not bring her beloved dog Toujours that day — a decision that has since ignited speculation that she knew exactly what was going to happen.
The Lindral Observer refused to report the facts. Instead, they published a poem entitled “Feathers and Furies,” which ended with the now-infamous line:
“And there, mid-flight, the goose knew more of grace than all three quills combined.”
What most agree on:
- Thistledown did say that Merevine’s opinions “smelled like goose shite.”
- Pellinette did whisper something about giving the goose “the last word.”
- The goose did, in fact, honk violently during Merevine’s closing remarks.
- Several chairs were overturned.
- Pellinette giggled into a frilly handkerchief.
- Thistledown was caught trying to rescue the goose and accused the organisers of negligence.
Since then, the phrase “going goose” has entered Lindral’s public lexicon, meaning to lose one’s composure in a spectacular fashion.
The Civic Literary Forum has yet to recover.
Legacy:
The Three Quills remain publicly banned from appearing together on any stage funded by the the Council or the Cultural Trust. Rumour has it the goose still resides somewhere near the rafters of Septastra Seat.
It has never been caught.
